The act of forgiving, by itself, is a wondefully simple act; but it always happens inside a storm of complex emotions. It is the hardest trick in the whole bag of personal relationships.
So let us be honest with each other. Let us talk plainly about the "magic eyes" that are given to those who are ready to be set free from the prison of pain they never deserved.
The first stage is HURT: when somebody causes you pain so deep and unfair that you cannot forget it, you are pushed into the first stage of the crisi forgiving.
The second stage is HATE: you cannot shake the memory of how much you were hurt, and you cannot wish your enemy well. You sometimes wish that person who hurt you to suffer as you are suffering.
The third stage is HEALING: you are given the "magic eyes" to see the person who hurt you in a new light. Ypur memory is healed, you turn back the flow of pain and are free agian.
The fourth stage is THE COMING TOGETHER: you invite the person who hurt you come back into your life; if he/she comes honestly, love can move you both toward a new and healed relationship. The fourth stage depends on the person you forgive as much as it depends on you; sometimes he doesnt come back and you have to be healed alone.
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