This is the Chapter 4 of the Book I'm reading, entitled "Forgive and Forget".. Just wanna share it with you guys.. I so love this chapter.. I totally agree on it.. POVS are allowed.. :)
They need to know know that the pain you suffered at their hands was unfair to you. You did not deserve to feel the hurt; no matter what was meant by it, you suffered what you should not have had suffer.
They also need to know that the hurt they caused you went deep. Deep enough for you to feel that you could not go on as before unless something happened to remove it. They may be dumbfounded that their little lance could have sliced so close to your heart. Never mind. People are always surprised at how much their "little" faults can hurt other people. The point is that you felt it so deeply that you could not let them come near you and share what was left of your heart in the same way it was shared before. And they must, with their mind, feelings, and words, reflect the truth of your hurt.
You cannot expect them to agree with you about every little detail. No two people in the history of personal misunderstandings have ever remembered their painful experience in the same colors and the same sequences, because no two people have experienced the same hurt in precisely the same way. So, if you want to recall, blow for blow, insult for insult, hurt for hurt, you will never get what you need.
But they must be truthful about what happened in the eye of the storm of your sad falling-out. And you need to believe that they are truthful before you can let them all the way back into your life.
"It is not enough to admit that they hurt you. They must feel the very hurt they hurt you with. Their feelings need to be one with your feelings".
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