The Three-Group System: Exiles, Managers, Firefighters

One group tends to be highly protective, strategic, and interested in controlling the environment to keep things safe. In an internal family, the members of this group are called the "managers." Another group contains the most sensitive members of the system. When injured or outraged, the members of this group will be imprisoned by the managers for their own and the larger system's protection; they become the "exiles." A third group reacts powerfully and automatically when the exiles are upset, to try to stifle or soothe those feelings. Its members are called the "firefighters."
Exiles
Commonly, children are taught to fear and hide their pain or terror. The adults react to a hurt child's feelings in the same extreme way they react to their own hurt inner-child parts--with impatience, denial, criticism, revulsion or distraction. Managerial parts of the person soon learn to adopt these attitudes and constrain the Self from taking care of the younger tribe members. This makes many people quite vulnerable to polarization from trauma. They become inclined to try to forget about painful events as soon as possible, which means pushing their hurting parts out of awareness. In this way, insult is added to the injury of these child parts. They are like children who are hurt and then are rejected and bandoned because they are hurt. They become the exiles, closeted away and enshrouded with burdens of unlovability, shame, or guilt.
Managers                                                              
Thus, managers live in fear of the escape of exiles. They try to avoid any interactions or situations that might activate an exile's attempts to break out or leak feelings, sensations, or memories into consciousness. Different managers adopt different strategies. It must be kept in mind that managers are forced into roles they do not enjoy but believe are necessary. Some of the managerial roles are described here:
1. The Controller
The manager that tries to keep the person in control of all relationships or situations, afraid that the smallest slight or frightening surprise might activate one of the young hurt parts. This manager may be highly intellectual and effective at solving problems, but is also obssessed with pushing away all feeling. This or another part may strive for career success or wealth, so as to put the person in a position of power and to distract him or her from feelings.
2. The Striver
To motivate the person, the striver is often a bitingly critical taskmaster, never satisfied with performance or outcome.
3. The Evaluator
A managerial part often becomes perfectionistic about the person's appearance and behaviour, believing that if the person is perfect and pleases everyone, he or she will not be abandoned or hurt. With bulimic clients, this Evaluator focuses on weight, constantly calling them fat or gluttonous.
4. The Dependent One
This manager tries to keep the person in a victim's role to ensure that other people will take care of him or her. The Dependent One keeps the person appearing helpless, injured, and passive.
5. The Passive Pessimist
This tries to avoid interpersonal risk, particularly situations that could arouse anger, sexuality, or fear. It can make the person totally apathetic and withdrawn, so that he or she does not try to get close to anyone. This part often erodes the person's self-confidence and sabotages performance, so that he or she will not have the courage to pursue goals. Or the part may look for and accentuate any flaws in an object of desire, in order to undermine attempts to obtain it.
6. The Terrorist
In people who have been severely abused, the Passive Pessimist turns into the Terrorist, taking on qualities of the abuser and scaring the exiles into making the person even more withdrawn.
7. The Caretaker
Many women are socialized to rely heavily on the Caretaker, who, when extreme, makes them always sacrifice their own needs so as to focus on and care for others. This part is likely to criticize a woman for being selfish if she ever asserts herself.
8.The hyper aroused Worrier or Sentry
It feels in constant jeopardy, is on continuous alert for danger, and flashes worst-case scenarios in front of a person as he or she contemplates risk.
9. The Denier
It distorts perceptions to keep the person from seeing and responding to risky feedback
10. The Entitled One
It encourages the person to get whatever he or she wants, no matter who is wronged by the action (men are often socialized to rely on this manager).
The point to remember is that the primary purpose of all managers is to keep exiles exiled, both for the protection of the exiles themselves and the protection of the system from them. That is, the goal is to keep the feared feelings and thoughts from spilling over the inner walls, so that the system remains safe and the person is able to function in life.
In order to maintain this kind of internal and external control, some managers can give the person the outward appearance and substance of success, providing the drive and focus to gain impressive academic, career, or monetary achievements. Sucess not only brings control over relationships and choices, but also can serve to distract from or compensate for the person's inner shame, fear, sadness, or despair. On the other hand, if the client is dominated by a Passive Pessimist, Dependent One, or Worrier, his or her life may be characterized by a series of half-hearted attempts and failures, which provide protection from responsibility or disappointment. Other common managerial tools or manifestations include: obsessions, compulsions, reclusiveness, passivity, emotional detachment and sense of unreality, phobias, panic attacks, somatic complaints, depressive episodes, hyperalertness, and nightmares.
Firefighters
There will be times when, despite the best efforts of the managers, the exiles are activated and threaded to break out and take over. When this happens, another group of parts leaps into action to try to contain or extinguish the feelings, sensations, or images. I call this group the "firefighters" because they react automatically whenever an exiled part is activated. It is as if an alarm goes off and they frantically mobilize to put out the fire of feelings. They do whatever they believe necessary to help the person dissociate from or douse dreaded, exiled feelings, with little regard for the consequences of their methods.
The techniques of firefighters often include numbing activities such as self-mutilation, binge eating, drug or alcohol abuse, excessive masturbation, or promiscuity. When activated, a firefighter will try to take control of the person so thoroughly that he or she feels nothing but an urgent compulsion to engage in a dissociative or self-soothing activity. These firefighters can make the person self-absorbed and demanding (narcissistic), driven insatiably to grab more material things for himself or herself than anyone else. Firefighter activities also sometimes include the numbing and protectiveness of rage, the exhilaration and indulgence of stealing, or the comfort of suicidal thoughts or attempts.