I'm assuming that you grew up with the same stereotypes around you that I was subjected to. Real men don't cry. Real men are not soft or gentle. Real men don't show emotion or vulnerability. Stuff like that. I don't know where that neanderthal, troglodyte type of thinking originated, but I guarantee you they had some deep-seated problems and had no idea what a real man is. Whatever the origin, those ideas of a real man were dead wrong.
I've been married for 21 successful, thrilling years. It's get better and better every day. I've been there and know what a real man is. I'll let you in on the secret as long as you promise not to keep it a secret. Spread it around and shout it from the rooftops. Males everywhere will thank you when they find the truth.
Firstly, real men do cry and they do show emotion. God did not forget to install tear ducts in the male of the species. We have them too! Gasp! They are there for a reason. Things that touch your heart such as your child's sweetness, your lover's words, a warm hug, a touching movie, television show or commercial. They all have the ability to tug at our heart strings. Let them. Keeping your emotions hidden away is unhealthy, both emotionally and physically. Aside from that, it keeps your humanity from showing. Women love to see your soft side. Let them in and take a chance on being vulnerable.
Next, real men show love. If you're married, your main responsibility is to take care of your family. They need your income, but they also need your love and your presence. Don't work yourself to death providing more than you all need to survive. A little extra is always nice, but don't kill yourself and sacrifice your family in the name of the big buck. No man has ever been on their death bed and said in their last breaths, "I wish I had worked more." That's just something that matters very little. A big hug for your daughter or son and letting them know how special they are to you. Flowers, a card, or just a kiss and hug for your wife to let her know that you appreciate her and how very much she means to you. Those are the things that are most important in this lifetime.
As long as we're on the subject of wives, let me take a little side trip. Men, it's your job and your pleasure to cherish your wife. Never talk harshly to them, never belittle them, never abuse them, physically, emotionally or verbally. They are to be loved and they are there to complete you. Take time to talk with her, to her and to listen to her. Communication is so very important in a relationship and women have a lot that they want to share with you. They also want to hear about what makes you tick. Love is a wonderful circle in that what you give out, you get back. If you give respect and love unconditionally, it will return to you. If you ever raise a hand to your wife or abuse her with hateful words, you are a cad and not a real man.
If you wrong someone, set your pride aside and seek forgiveness. Ask them for it. There is nothing more healing than forgiveness. You aren't above humbling yourself to let someone know that you're sorry that you've hurt them. Real men ask for forgiveness.
To sum it all up, get in touch with your true heart. Opening yourself up to the people around you is a very good thing. Place your family on a pedestal. They want you and not your money. Respect and appreciate them. Wear your emotions on your sleeve. Throw out all the old testosterone-driven stereotypes.
There is nothing more fulfilling and wonderful than being a real man.
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