How to Spot If Someone Is Cheating On You

A few months ago, I bumped into a close friend of mine. He now resides in Los Angeles, and is pursuing his dream of becoming a concert pianist. We were both doing piano school together during our younger years but he was the one who took the lessons seriously and decided to continue with the art of piano playing. We chatted over coffee at a Starbucks and talk endlessly. Updating on what transpired and happened to us individually after so many years of not seeing each other. Until, we talked about our personal lives. Love life, that is! I opened up first and shared my not so good experience with love.

Thinking, that I have the worst case scenario. But it turned out to be, my charming good looking friend, whom I never have the inkling of having issues with romanticism and love, is heart broken and torn. I was shocked. He is definitely a catch. Intelligent, bright, charismatic, romantic, and attractive. Plus, he plays the piano like there is no tomorrow. Girls swoon over this guy and I would surely want to be in his shoes. But, lo and behold, he was cheated and cheated hard for that matter. So I asked him what happened and bluntly told him as to why he was caught unguarded by this swindling trickster. He simply said he was madly in love and was blinded by it. Now I wonder, how one can actually tell if his/her partner is cheating?

I came across a teacher of mine in Psychology, way back in college and here are some of the main points she shared with me on how to spot a cheater. First, get into the details. If your partner is always off-guard regarding cheating, you will notice that he/she don’t have a lot of details to back up his/her stories and excuses. This is because he/she didn’t anticipate your confrontation and didn’t have the time to create a believable excuse. If he/she is into too much detail, this can be a sign that he/she is prepared for the confrontation and put too many details to unimportant things. Take note of any squirming and fidgeting. If your partner is unable to look you in the eye, unable to sit still, keeps on playing with her hands and stutters, then he/she is most likely nervous and anxious about the topic you are discussing.

Check for unusual body language as well. For example, patting the nose, rubbing the eyes, touching the throat, neck, and collar area. Sweat beds can also be signs of nervousness and anxiety. Most cheating partners possess defensive behaviors. If they directly blurt out into a defensive aura when confronted about cheating, they tend to reverse the topic and try to make it so that you are the one being confronted about cheating. Changes in the person’s voice during the confrontation can be a sign as well.

If he/she is lying, he/she will often speak in a pitch that is lower than his/her normal tone. Mumbling and talking faster may be observed too. There might instances where you partner frequents going home late, and reasons to have meetings with clients and socials most of the time. You may also find phone numbers of text messages which seemed suspicious in his/her mobile phone which is unlisted. At times, cheating partners have the knack to change there clothes every time they come home in order for their partners not to smell perfume scents of other women or men they get intimate with.

And of course, who could ever forget the lipstick mark, pieces of clothing which does not belong to you or your partner which is accidentally left on his/her car, and the unexpected/unapproved spending of expensive items which is reflected in your joint accounts or credit cards.

These are just some of the signs to know if your partner is cheating. There are a lot of ways to know if he/she is. But just to remind you, try to confront your partners about cheating when you are calm and rational. The more you are collected and relaxed, the better your ability to discover in finding the truth.